waahh! kakaasar naman. for my 3rd blog in blogspot bakit andaming problema. and one major problem eh walang box para sa title. my 1st acct went well. and my 2nd acct is absolutely better. pero eto bat di ko maayos. ganun ba katagal aq nawala at di ko na maalala ang magic na ginawa ko dun sa 2. hmmp. so frustrating. ayaw ko na. sabi q na nga ba pang-base q lang toh eh.

for the past few days, i've been thinking how to stop my self from doing unnecessary things a teen would do. well. one thing i must admit to myself, im not a teen anymore. well. that sucks. and one big thing i hate being twenty is... ahmmm. yikes, how would i say it? ok i'd be honest now since im twenty and being mature is necessary. this is not a comments box so i dont need violent reactions. and most of all, i dont need inconsiderate judgement. remember, im just a growing human. anyway, maybe it all started after the night of our trip in puerto. i dunno but i suddenly decided to watch a comedy slash romantic movie from US. and i didnt majorly expect to see something unnecessary unto it. its so awkward to talk about it. ok. ofcourse i never in my life saw other's private areas. most especially with boys. maybe a baby boy i saw. but in a man, i havent yet! but in the movie... it had. the first time i saw a man's you know was with the movie the reader. i was curious with what my friend was talking about and so i wished i never watched that part. the second time i saw a man's you know was from that movie i watched after our trip. as in a whole man was naked. i freaked out cause im afraid that my parents would see me seeing that. they're so much strict with those things. even a guy wearing only trunks or short boxers is a major offense to them. so im so much afraid to be caught. and i never wanted to see one promise. but that was a major accident to see a movie with that. some movies usually show boob nudity or butt exposure but that movie showed it all. it was so weird for me. i was real shock. when i was young, i was clueless with the word virgin. and when i get to have experienced classmates, i became curius with what they joke about "long".. u know. and so as i saw that scene, i sad to myself, is it really that big and long? and will it really fit a girl's you know. how the hell with that fit unto a girl's u know. and why are they so addicted to it? is it really a pleasure to do that? what about the pain? i've been freaked out seeing a woman labor, or much more a devirginization. what the heck? why do they enjoy so much that three letter word? in short, i was curious.

and so followed next movie which showed everything about that 3 letter word. whats the tittle again.. hmm.. ahh! YPF. young people F. u know. it did not show too much skin. only the 2 Bs. boob and butt. and simply few of those. my gash. im smiling right now as i recalled how i learned about that. as i recall, the process goes with prelude, foreplay, s3x, orgasm, i forgot the last one. the movie showed different couples doing it. more talk and acting. it was hilarious. and educational for someone who is innocent to those things. really! though my highschool friend always talks about perverted things, i never saw it myself. anyway, from that day, i began curious. but i swear i wont do it now just to satisfy my cuiousity. but then, i began to feel different. i somehow remember it all of a sudden. or when i saw a sexy picture, i sometimes think, what's under that?

anyway, one thing also that seemed to torture me was our media. i realized that they have been promoting those things unconsciously. i dunno how to explain it. but for example, showing a topless man for a commercial being intimate... how the heck they're allowing that in local tv or commercials. it initiates the imagination of people. waah! im so much shy to express my self and i dunno why the heck im telling this things. anyway, i hope i would stop this curiousity. i dont want to think about it! its weird! though my friends think im open to those things because im sometimes vulgar with the way i talk, i myself dont want those things right now. its hard to explain but i hope i would stop thinking like this. is it really the effect of being 20? is this the things that would start to flow unto the innocent mind of a teen? what the heck. i dont want it. but the urge sometimes shows. that sucks. lol. bye then.